Everyday haikus (for troubled times)

Hi, readers. I hope you are all staying healthy. I would like to offer you a daily (or almost daily ) haiku in these troubled times. It’s been pointed out to me that my verses fall into the category of senryu rather than true haiku, as a haiku is generally about nature while a senryu explores human shortcomings in a darkly humorous way. So these can be everyday senryus, if that makes you feel better. Or worse.

Posting about your
spring break trip confirms you are
a selfish asshat.